Weirdly, couch surfing is more restful than living in NY, where there’s traffic, and hissing pipes, and clanking metal, gunshots, drunk kids yelling, drunk old dudes yelling, raccoons going through your trash, bottle-seeking old asian ladies going through your trash, people selling illegal fake purses outside your window, Constant construction…coma-inducing heat because its summer and you can’t afford AC, freezing temps because your landlord died in February and they left the least amount of heat on for you and the roommates who were left behind, dogs barking, cars backing into parked cars and then screeching away….trash being picked up every day, your roommate making food at 2 am right outside your door because you don’t have full-time access to the kitchen so there’s a microwave in the hallway…you get it.
If I’ve learned anything so far, its that I need to be around supportive people. Because I don’t really like my sets unless they’re one of the best I’ve done. I’m not happy with my stand up like 90% of the time. So while I learn perspective, I really need other people to be minimally supportive, or occasionally say they liked something I did. Otherwise I just sink into wondering if I’m funny or ever was. And logically, I’ve lived long enough to know I am funny, I’m just less good at crowd control, confidence, performance, you know, being a paid comedian. And I’ve told other comics I feel this way, and they’ve brought up times they remember me handling difficult heckler situations really well, or how things going wrong don’t seem effect me. I only remember how I feel inside, which is usually terrible. But again, I need those moments of support. Or just to talk to other comics about how great I am more often!!! Hah!?! Anyone!? Fine…
But overall things are going well. I’m gonna make it through all of Atlanta without sleeping in my car, so that’s great. It’s a really fun scene here, with a lot of open mics with audiences. If you were a big deal, you could probably jump around to a lot of these shows and get good decently fast. I still miss New York, but I feel like I’m getting my sense of fun and confidence back, which I felt I lost when I bought a car and just drove away.
Right now I’m trying to decide where to go next. I was initially thinking Chicago, but San Francisco is somewhere I time and high-paying app-based jobs. And I’m also thinking of a complicated New York-Boston-Philly-DC combination which excites me. I’ll figure it out soon, one way or another.