Crossing Streams of Consciousness

Stop it, illnesses of mine!  I may need to finally get health insurance.  Bah!  Alright.  I have one more day of Comic-in-Residence, and then I’m going to curl into a ball until I’m healed.  It’s emasculating.  I can’t go outside without a winter coat, and I keep making this cute little cough that I assume is the last sound a penis makes you buy Viagra.  Just a slight, womanly cough, then endless flaccidity.

I’m going to sublet in New York for May and June, and return to Boston on weekends to work at ye olde Hojo’s.  That’s the plan.  Then in July, I may sublet in Boston to rest before heading back again.  I’m not sure what I’m doing after that.

If Comic-in-Residence has taught me anything, it’s that I’m acceptable.  I’m an acceptable comedic performer (although the interns keep telling me I’ve been one of the best (I’m saying that because I keep shitting on myself, and I want bookers to know I actually am good relative to what else is out there at my level)), but I want to be 10 years into this soooooooo badly.  I have little moments here and there of what I’d like my comedy to be like, but I have to keep plugging away until it gets there.  The jokes need to be better, the performance needs to be better, my crowd management needs to be better (again, all of them are improving).

I feel like I started too late to be the crushing SOB of comedy I’ve always wanted to be.  I started at 23, 9 years after Chappelle and Bill Hicks.  They both started at 14, and had been doing stand up for nearly a decade before I even tried it.  At the same time, that does not negate success, and a few of the people who start young and end up famous regret it.  I don’t want fame.  I’d like fans, but also to live a normal life, which may be a have your cake and eating it too situation.  I’m fine, but I always feel like I’m behind.  And I apologize to anyone older than me who’s reading this, I’m still young enough, and don’t have much of a right to complain, but man, I don’t know where I’m gonna get enough stage time to become as good as I’d like to be…

…Alright, so that’s a stream of my general consciousness.  Then I took a pee (don’t worry, into a toilet), and feel better now.  I’m doing well.  My jokes are improving.  I feel more confident in front of various types of audiences, and I’ve finally reached another stage where I feel the vast majority of my jokes aren’t good enough and want to improve them.  I’m looking forward to NY, where I’m going to start busting out some old notebooks and reworking anything that strikes my fancy.  It’s getting to the point where I’m not that far away from some of the guys getting these TV spots (not far away could mean 4 months or 4 years).  I mostly need to have a tighter act.  In the coming months I have some shows outside of Boston, where I historically haven’t done as well, but I’m looking forward to seeing how much I’ve changed in my ability to handle it.

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