I didn’t hit as many mics or shows as I typically do this last time out to NY, but that was good for me in a weird way. I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but I often worry I’m merely compelled to perform all the time out of fear instead of joy. That I’m falling behind if I’m not doing anything and everything I can get to. Both Sunday and Wednesday this week, I still did a show each night, but there were open mics I could have done and I just didn’t. I was too mentally exhausted to deal with it with the zero new jokes that I was excited about, and you know what…I didn’t die. It was empowering in a weird way, to go, “Yeah! Suck it open mics! I’m the one in control. I do you when I want, not because I have to.” Very rejuvenating somehow, and still performed.
So I only got onstage 6 times in the four days I was out here, which part of me feels like that’s wasteful of my New York time, but mentally I needed it. Also, it’s fun to write something like that thinking how when I started, I’d be excited if I got up 6 times in a week. Now I probably sound odd going, “Only performed 6 times in four days. Really taking it easy.” I’ve always been a person who enjoyed pushing himself, seeing what I was capable of. For me, it’s very rewarding to get up as many times as possible, but I’m trying to follow through on my new goal of giving myself a break occasionally.