I didn’t hit as many mics or shows as I typically do this last time out to NY, but that was good for me in a weird way.  I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but I often worry I’m merely compelled to perform all the time out of fear instead of joy.  That I’m falling behind if I’m not doing anything and everything I can get to.  Both Sunday and Wednesday this week, I still did a show each night, but there were open mics I could have done and I just didn’t.  I was too mentally exhausted to deal with it with the zero new jokes that I was excited about, and you know what…I didn’t die.  It was empowering in a weird way, to go, “Yeah!  Suck it open mics!  I’m the one in control.  I do you when I want, not because I have to.”  Very rejuvenating somehow, and still performed.

So I only got onstage 6 times in the four days I was out here, which part of me feels like that’s wasteful of my New York time, but mentally I needed it.  Also, it’s fun to write something like that thinking how when I started, I’d be excited if I got up 6 times in a week.  Now I probably sound odd going, “Only performed 6 times in four days.  Really taking it easy.”  I’ve always been a person who enjoyed pushing himself, seeing what I was capable of.  For me, it’s very rewarding to get up as many times as possible, but I’m trying to follow through on my new goal of giving myself a break occasionally.