“Now take, say, maybe the biggest problem we face: destruction of the environment. Every Republican candidate is either a climate change denier, or a skeptic that says they can’t do anything about it. What they are saying…is ‘Let’s destroy the world.’ Is that worth voting against? Yeah.” – Noam Chomsky on voting for Hillary Clinton over a Republican
Ever since Super Tuesday Part 87, I’ve been surprised how many of my smart and well-meaning friends are dead-set against voting for Hillary Clinton, proclaiming they’re going to vote for Donald Trump instead. Kindly, may I suggest: DEAR LORD, NO!!! They are not sexist (for the most part), they’ve just been so over-exposed to Hillary’s many negatives, it’s hard to comprehend how Trump could be worse. I also don’t want another Imperialist, works-mostly-for-the-business-class President, but Trump is similar or worse in nearly every regard: Trump is pro-fracking, pro-stealing other countries resources, has a history of bankrupting things for his own benefit, has no environmental policy at all, is both implicitly and explicitly racist…
But don’t take my word for it, listen to brilliant US-critic and Bernie supporter not-just-because-they-look-alike Noam Chomsky:
Chomksy also posits the novel idea of voting for whoever you want in safely blue states, as long as we bite the bullet and vote for Clinton in the swing states. We won’t win by voting for Trump and blowing it up. Begrudgingly vote for Clinton, protest her policies that are corrupt and allow those that aren’t. Keep learning and vote in your local elections. And remember, if Bernie doesn’t run Third Party, its because of how dangerous Bernie Sanders thinks a Trump presidency would be.
A group of retired auto workers is having their morning coffee. They pushed two tables together without asking. When you buy coffee and a corn muffin, you can redecorate, free of charge. They’re all white because I’m in North Chicago. They all have accents as if they do part-time work coaching amateur local sketch groups on the correct pronunciation of “Da’ Bulls.” The coffee shop is run by a 60 year-old man, and has 60 year-old man features: card tables, folding chairs, table cloths. You can tell a cafe is modern when the tables are nude.
Their conversations are what you’d expect: whether or not leasing a car is a scam; bragging about being a loyal Round Up customer (“I’m just sayin’, come to my backyard—no dandelions.”); arguing that the mother of 4 year-old boy who caused a gorilla to be shot was negligent because she clearly didn’t hit him enough. In a middle of a conversation about how “rare” it is to find women of both beauty and intelligence, they started discussing how poorly women are paid in the auto industry. They all agreed it was an injustice, then moved on to talk about how badly the church needed to be painted. Technically, this is progress.
I was spanked as a child, but it hasn’t affected me. Although, (this is silly) I don’t pat the bottom of a glass ketchup bottle to get the ketchup out, but instead jab a knife in its mouth while scream-crying “Fuck you, Dad!”
A new study shows that Conservatives (especially Ted Cruz’s fundamentalist Christian base) are most likely to find meaning in grandiose bullshit statements (“Make America Great Again!”). Clinton supporters are mostly to fall for mundane bullshit (“Small, realistic changes make a significant impact!”), and the idealist, tree-hugging Unicorn-riders of camp Bernie Sanders are most likely to see through bullshit. Gotta love science!
Hillary: We’ll defeat ISIS with a no-fly zone!
Advisor: …ISIS doesn’t have planes…
Hillary: They could! And they won’t be able to fly them in my ingenious no-fly zone!
Advisor: …Assad has planes.
Hillary: Who? Syria’s dictator? What a coincidence! lol!
Advisor: You’re not still trying to overthrow a regime to stop terrorism, are you?
Because in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, we’ve only made things worse in the vacuum of pow…
Hillary: NO-FLY ZONE!!!
*Adding cinnamon to my iced coffee*
Stranger: Do you like it like that?
Tom: No, I’ve been procrastinating and this is how I punish myself.
Tom: Oh no! Sorry, I was just joking.
Stranger: Oh. That’s a very specific joke…
Tom: Well, I’m quite good.